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Tuesday, April 22, 2008  

MAN OVERBOARD

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHEN I SAW THE PICTURE OF VLADIMIR PUTIN WITH HIS SHIRT OFF THAT THIS IS A MAN IN CRISIS. I WOULD BE WILLING TO GUESS THAT A LITTLE FURTHER INVESTIGATION WOULD PROBABLY RENDER A RED CONVERTIBLE IN HIS GARAGE. THE FINAL PIECE OF EVIDENCE: VLADDIE HAS BEEN LINKED TO A GYMNAST HALF HIS AGE, WHOSE SPECIALTY APPEARS TO BE THE INCREDIBLE FLEXIBILITY OF HER BODY. NICOLAS SARKOZY, PRESIDENT OF FRANCE, HAS MARRIED HIS YOUNG THING, THE ITALIAN MODEL, CARLA BRUNI, 25 YEARS HIS JUNIOR. THE WORLD TAKES THESE EVENTS IN STRIDE AND WHY SHOULDN'T THEY? WE HAVE OBSERVED MEN IN POWERFUL POSITIONS MARRYING YOUNGER WOMEN THROUGHOUT TIME WITHOUT BATTING THE PROVERBIAL FALSE EYELASH. I CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER WHAT POLITICAL STORMS WOULD BE CREATED IF A WOMAN IN POWER TOOK A YOUNGER LOVER AND FLAUNTED THE RELATLIONSHIP PUBLICLY. WHAT SCANDAL AND OUTRAGE WOULD FILL THE FRONT PAGES OF NEWSPAPERS AROUND THE GLOBE. WOULDN'T IT BE INTERESTING IF HILARY CLINTON WAS ELECTED PRESIDENT AND IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT SHE WAS HAVING TADPOLE SEX IN THE OVAL OFFICE LATE AT NIGHT WHILE HER HUSBAND WAS BUSY SELLING TICKETS TO THE EXTRA BEDROOMS. I DARESAY WE'D DO MORE THAN JUST IMPEACH HER. I'M SURE SOME NEW FORM OF HIDEOUS PUNISHMENT WOULD BE DEVISED STRICTLY FOR HER, LIKE MAYBE FORCING HER TO HAVE DINNER EVERY NIGHT FOR A MONTH WITH WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS. NO DOUBT IMPEACHMENT WOULD PALE BY COMPARISON TO SHARING EVERY EVENING WITH THE WORLD'S MOST ANNOYING HUMAN BEING.






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