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Wednesday, August 06, 2008  

KEEPING IT REAL

YOU'D THINK FROM THE NUMBER OF ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION COMMERCIALS PLAYING ON TELEVISION EVERY DAY THAT MAYBE THERE AREN'T SO MANY MEN WHO ARE CAPABLE OF A NATURAL ERECTION. I AM CONSTANTLY AMUSED AT HOW JOYFUL AND VIRILE THE MEN BECOME AFTER TAKING THEIR LITTLE PILL. CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER ABOUT THE FEMININE VERSION OF THOSE COMMERCIALS. FIRST, SHE WOULD LOOK SAD AND DEJECTED SUPPOSEDLY BECAUSE HER YA-YA HAS DRIED UP. ONLY, HOW WOULD WE KNOW IF WHAT SHE WAS FEELING WAS FRUSTRATION OVER NOT BEING ABLE TO LEARN THE COMPUTER, OR BEING THE BIG LOSER AT THE MAHJONG TOURNAMENT? THE ANNOUNCER WOULD THEN INFORM US THAT SHE HAD USED HER SEXUAL ENHANCING LUBRICANT, MAGICALLY TRANSFORMING HER FROM A COBWEB INFESTED, FROWZY, CRABBY, THREEHEADED- MONSTER TO A MOIST AND JUICY SEDUCTRESS, RUNNING FREE AND UNINHIBITED THROUGH THE FLOWERS, SINGING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS, LIKE MERYL STREEP IN "MAMMA MIA!" HOW DO WE KNOW THAT SMILE ON HER FACE ISN'T FROM THE NEW HANDBAG SHE PICKED UP ON SALE, OR THE FIVE POUNDS SHE SHED ON HER RECENT SPA WEEKEND? IT IS NOT MY INTENTION TO MINIMIZE THE ENDURING EFFECTS A LOVING SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP CAN HAVE ON A COUPLE, BUT IS THAT ALL IT TAKES TO ROCK OUR WORLD? IF ONLY REAL LIFE WERE SO UNCOMPLICATED.






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