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Monday, October 06, 2008  

MY OLD LADY

ONE OF MY VERY FAVORITE DANCE SHOWS IS BACK FOR A NEW SEASON. I WAS PARTICULARLY EXCITED WHEN I SAW THAT CLORIS LEACHMAN WOULD BE ONE OF THE CELEBRITIES IN THE COMPETITION. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A FAN OF ROSILAND RUSSELL AND THE ELEGANT WAY SHE HAD OF BEING IN SOMEONE'S FACE, BUT CLORIS, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAD A BIT MORE OF AN EDGY STYLE, AND THE EXHIBITIONIST IN ME CONSIDERED THAT MAYBE SHE WAS THE SORT OF OLD LADY I WOULD BECOME. I AM SAD TO SAY THAT I NO LONGER FEEL THAT WAY. THE WOMAN IS RUNNING AMOK WITH HER TA-TAS FLYING IN THE BREEZE. MY FAVORITE MOMENT OF THE SHOW SO FAR WAS WHEN SHE THRUSTS HER WRINKLED...EXPOSED...EIGHTY-THREE YEAR OLD BREASTS INTO LEN GOODMAN'S FACE. AS HE WITHDREW IN DISGUST, HE SAID "MADAM, MIND YOUR CLEAVAGE." THAT'S BRITISH FOR "GET YOUR TITS OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!"

I HAVE DECIDED TO STOCK UP ON TURTLE-NECKS AND LONG SLEEVES AND I'VE RENTED THE ENTIRE ROSILAND RUSSELL FILM CATALOGUE, HOPING FOR A TOTAL BRAINWASH.






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