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Thursday, April 09, 2009  

NEWS FLASH

I SAW KATIE COURIC INTERVIEWING THE CAST OF THE NEW PRODUCTION OF 'HAIR' ABOUT TO OPEN ON BROADWAY. MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS THAT OUR GIRL'S GOT HERSELF A NEW SYLIST, BUT THAT GAVE WAY TO A MUCH MORE COMPLICATED IMPESSION. WE'VE ALL SEEN OUR KATIE FLASH HER TAN, TONED, BUT SLIGHTLY MUSCULAR LEGS AROUND QUITE A LOT, SINCE HER DAYS AS CO-HOST OF THE TODAY SHOW. THEN SHE TOOK THE JOB OF NETWORK ANCHOR AT CBS NEWS, SAYING THAT SHE WANTED TO BE TAKEN MORE SERIOUSLY AS A NEWSCASTER, THAT'S ADMIRABLE, TO BE SURE.

WHAT I SAW WAS OUR KATIE IN THE UBIQUITOUS SHORT SKIRT, LEGS TANNED AND POLISHED, CROSSED JUST SO, A SHORTER, BLONDER, CHIC-ER HAIRDO, MORE SUBTLE MAKEUP (THANK HEAVENS) AND THEN I REALIZED WHAT WAS MOST DIFFERENT ABOUT OUR KATIE. SHE WAS WEARING A RACER-BACK TOP, CUT ALL THE WAY TO THE NECK, SHOWING BOTH OF HER ENTIRE ARMS AND SHOULDERS. A BIT MUCH FOR SUNDAY MORNING.

WITHIN A MOMENT I KNEW THAT I WAS IN CONFLICT. I HAVE DECLARED PUBLICLY AND ELSEWHERE MANY TIMES THAT I SUBSCRIBE TO THE "CYBIL SHEPHERD THEORY" OF DRESSING: IF YOUR BODY STILL WORKS, FLAUNT IT! HOWEVER, IF KATIE WANTS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, AS A SERIOUS PERSON DELIVERING SERIOUS INFORMATION, I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THE FEELING THAT SHE IS SPENDING HOURS....HOURS!!...PUMPING UP THOSE ARMS. HOURS THAT MIGHT BE BETTER SPENT STUDYING WORLD EVENTS. IN THESE DIFFICULT TIMES, I WANT THE WALTER CRONKITE TRADITION OF A NEWSCASTER.

I HAVE A FEELING THAT THE CELEBRITY PART OF KATIE'S JOB GETS THE LION'S SHARE OF HER FOCUS. CBS HAS BEEN PROMOTING THE HECK OUT OF OUR KATIE, COMING PERILOUSLY CLOSE TO CRAMMING HER DOWN OUR THROATS. SHE HAD COME AWFULLY CLOSE TO BEING A FULL-FLEDGED JOKE ON HER NEWSCAST WHEN SHE FOUND HERSELF IN THE CENTER OF THE SARAH PALIN STORM. HER BOSSES VERY WISELY USED THE MOMENT TO REHABILITATE HER IMAGE AND HER CREDIBILITY. HAVING BEEN MARRIED TO A CELEBRITY MYSELF, I KNOW A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW IMAGES ARE CRAFTED, HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE TO ONE'S SUCCESS OR FAILURE AND HOW MUCH OF A LIFE IS REQUIRED TO BE A CELEBRITY ON KATIE'S LEVEL. IT'S A FULL TIME JOB. IT TAKES MANY MANY MAN-HOURS TO CREATE A FLAWLESS IMAGE.

BECAUSE SO MUCH IS WRITTEN ABOUT CERTAIN CELEBRITIES, PEOPLE TEND TO THINK THAT THEY KNOW THEM. BUT I PROMISE, YOU DON'T KNOW BRAD PITT. YOU DON'T KNOW ANGELINA JOLIE, PARIS HILTON, HALLE BERRY OR ANY OF THE OTHERS. YOU ALSO DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH OF THEIR LIFE IS SPENT FORMING WHAT YOU THINK OF THEM.

WOMAN TO WOMAN, I WOULD ADVISE KATIE THE SAME WAY I WOULD ADVISE OTHER WORKING WOMEN: IF YOU FEEL THAT YOUR ARMS ARE TIGHT AND TONED, REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOUR SKIN IS OVER 50. SHOW THEM WHEN YOU ARE DRESSED TO KILL AND OUT ON THE TOWN, BUT NOT AT THE OFFICE. KATIE'S OFFICE IS TELEVISION. I CAN'T TAKE HER SERIOUSLY AS A NEWSCASTER WHEN SHE IS DRESSED INAPPROPRIATELY, FLASHING HER ARMS AND LEGS EVERYWHERE. IF SHE'S NOT DANCING OR CHEERLEADING, WHAT IS THE REASON TO SHOW ALL THAT SKIN? IF SOMEONE DOESN'T ENLIGHTEN OUR KATIE, BEFORE YOU CAN SAY "TOO MUCH EXPOSURE", SHE'LL BE INTERVIEWING FOREIGN DIGNITARIES IN STRAPLESS TUBE TOPS. MERCY!






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