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Thursday, May 28, 2009  

POO-POO ON THE PUBLIC

IT'S OLD NEWS BY NOW, OF COURSE, BUT I HAVE BEEN MOURNING THE FACT THAT THE FABULOUS GILLES DID NOT WIN THE FIRST PLACE THOPHY ON DWTS. HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED? HAD HE BEEN OUT-DANCED EVEN ONCE BY THE LITTLE GYMNAST? ONLY THE GENERAL PUBLIC COULD HAVE MADE SUCH AN OBVIOUS ERROR. NO OFFENSE AGAINST SHAWN PERSONALLY, BUT SHE HAS THE TWO MOST IMPOSSIBLE AFFLICTIONS FOR A WOULD-BE DANCER. NO.1: SHE HAS SHORT LEGS. THE LIMITATIONS ARE OBVIOUS. NO. 2: SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SELL IT! KNOWING ONE'S CHOREOGRAPHY IS ONLY HALF THE GAME. YOU HAVE TO SELL YOUR DANCE WITH YOUR HANDS AND YOUR EYES, YOUR SMILE AND YOUR ATTITUDE. SHE OFTEN WAS LOOKING DOWN, UNFOCUSED, AND ALTHOUGH SHE ACCOMPLISHED A LOT OF THE PHYSICAL DEMANDS QUITE WELL, I NEVER SAW SO MUCH AS A HINT OF SEX APPEAL....SO SAD FOR SUCH A YOUNG AND PRETTY GIRL.

GILLES, ON THE OTHER HAND...THE PERSONIFICATION OF TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME. IS HE NOT THE PRINCE HOLDING THE GLASS SLIPPER?? HIS LINES WERE LONG AND LOVELY, HIS POSTURE SO ELEGANT. IT WAS DIFFICULT NOT TO SWOON AS HE MOVED WITH GRACE AND PERFECTION FROM ONE DANCE STYLE TO ANOTHER. THERE WAS NOTHING HE COULDN'T DO WITH EQUAL FLAIR AND SEXUAL MAGNETISM. I MAY HAVE DROOLED ON MYSELF. THERE IS NO QUESTION THAT HE WAS ROBBED AND THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ALLOW THE GENERAL PUBLIC TO DECIDE ON TALENT.

MEANWHILE, I AM STILL FRUSTRATED WITH THE WAY THIS SHOW IS FILMED. I OFTEN FIND MYSELF SCREAMING AT THE DIRECTOR AND CAMERA PEOPLE. WHEN IS SOMEONE GOING TO INFORM THEM THAT THESE DANCE NUMBERS DON'T NEED CLOSE-UPS AND FAST CUTTING TO MAKE IT MORE EXCITING. THE EXCITEMENT IS BUILT INTO THE DANCE, YOU DUNDERHEADS, AND IF YOU WOULD JUST KEEP BOTH DANCERS IN A FULL BODY SHOT, WE WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE AND APPRECIATE WHAT THEY ARE DOING. ALSO, FOR YOUR INFORMATION, DANCERS DANCE WITH THEIR WHOLE BODIES...HANDS, ARMS, HEADS AND FEET. YOU WOULDN'T SHOOT A CLOSE-UP OF A BOXER'S FEET WHILE HE'S BOXING, WOULD YOU? IF I WAS SEATED IN THE AUDIENCE AND COULD ONLY SEE THE DANCERS FROM THE SIDE, THAT WOULD BE CONSIDERRED A BAD SEAT. WHY DO THAT TO THE AUDIENCE AT HOME? WHY NOT GIVE THEM THE BEST POSSIBLE VISION OF THE DANCE BY FOCUSING A STATIONARY CAMERA THAT JUST FOLLOWS THE DANCERS? SO MANY OF THE DANCE MOVES ARE MISSED BECAUSE THE CAMERA IS TOO BUSY. VERY ANNOYING. PLEASE, MR. DIRECTOR, DO YOUR HOMEWORK...WATCH SOME FRED ASTAIR MOVIES. THAT'S HOW TO SHOOT DANCE.






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